Still no baby...

I know you are all anxiously sitting by your computers just waiting to see if I have had my baby yet so I thought I would put up another post. No baby yet, and honestly, today I am glad (even though I am SO UNCOMFORTABLE!). Some days I am not so glad that this baby hasn't come yet, but I was walking past some random stranger the other day out of the blue she started up a conversation. She asked about how far along I was and how many kids I had and then she told me good luck with number 3 because it is a doosy! "You have more kids than you have hands." I am getting a little more scared for this baby to come out. Everyone keeps telling me number 3 is the hardest and I already think 2 is hard! Gracie had a particularly hard day yesterday. We didn't get to go do the fun things we had planned because Gracie decided she wouldn't listen to mom and decided to yell at mom and throw a temper tantrum. By the end of the day, David and I were both frustrated and I had been crying off and on for a couple of hours. I woke up during the night with a nightmare though and afterwards all I wanted to do was hold my babies (I know, I know, a 3 almost 4 year old and a 20 month old really aren't babies anymore, but to me they always will be...). I kept telling myself they were fine and that I didn't need to go check on them, but I just couldn't go back to sleep! Then I heard something. I heard singing. It was Gracie. I was just so relieved that I had a good excuse to go in a check on her and Sammy!!! When I went in she was just singing to herself the Baby Mine song from Dumbo. She asks me to sing this to her all the time. We can be driving somewhere and she will ask me to turn off the radio and sing the Baby Mine song. This morning at 3:00 am she was singing it to herself, just quietly singing... I went in, gave her a kiss, told her I loved her, peaked at Sammy and went back to bed. I still couldn't sleep though (don't you just hate those dreams that keep coming back every time you close your eyes). It wasn't too long before I heard the little pitter patter of her feet. I think she comes to check on me in the night sometimes too. She climbed in our bed, cuddled up next to me and told me she loved me and went back to sleep. It isn't always comfortable when the kids come and get into our bed during the night, but there is a part of me that LOVES it! I love the sweet kisses and hugs, their warm snuggly little bodies, their quiet breathing, the smell of their shampoo and pajamas... Our bed can get pretty crowded when Gracie and Sammy both climb in and of course they both want to lay next to Mommy (Daddy frequently gets pushed to the very edge of the bed) and usually my arms end up falling asleep because they are curled around little bodies, but there is just something about having my children lying there asleep next to me that I need sometimes... and this morning was one of those times. I don't think I would have been able to sleep anymore last night if Gracie hadn't been curled up next to me. It was so sweet and wonderful to know that she still loves me and wants to be with me as much as I still love and want to be with her even (and maybe especially) after a hard day. I feel really blessed to have my children. I have changed my mind. I know there will be hard times with a new baby, but I am not scared. I know it will just be one more little person to show me what love is really all about.