Happy Birthday to Julie!

With great gratitude, I present, Julie:

Happy Birthday to a most wonderful Wife, Mother, and friend. I am so grateful for her love, support, and influence in our home. She is simply amazing!

She loves and lives each day with gratitude. She lifts and loves her family. She is a giving, service oriented woman who gives to all those in need around her. She takes little for herself, and sacrifices for the needs of those around her.

She is mothering 4 beautiful children(if I do say so myself). She thinks of their needs above her own every day.

She has supported a husband through YEARS of schooling so he can now barely make above the poverty line. And someday because she has supported him, he can support her spending habits(just kidding honey)--He can provide all she has dreamed of having for her family.

She is admired of many, loved by more than a few, an example others have confided in, and a saint by most measures.

She is my wife, my love, my Julie Girl, mother of 4 and counting, daughter to a wonderful family(even if a little naughty--gotcha mom!), and in our life forever.

Love,

David

Haircuts and... dental work?

I cut the boys hair. Actually I am kind of kicking myself for it. I cut off all of Benson's baby whisps. You know the really fine stuff. It makes me want to cry when I look at him. I cut Sammy's too. He does NOT like getting his hair cut. The only way he would finally consent to let me do it was after bribery and threat. I bribed him with a sucker and then David threatened to make him go to bed alone... in the dark... if he wouldn't. My fun sister Caralee sent these funny suckers to us when Duke was born. My mom put them up in the cupboard while I was in the hospital and I forgot about them until just a few days ago. They were the perfect bribe! The kids loved them.

Growing up...

Has it really been 5 weeks today since my baby was born. The time has flown. But I am not sure the first week in the hospital counted... I will say he is only 4 weeks old. At least in my own head. Don't you just love how I live in my own little world and think whatever I want. I put his newborn outfit that he wore home from the hospital on him a couple of days ago, and it officially doesn't fit. I think he only wore it three times. His 0-3 clothes still fit, but I am sure they won't for long since he weighs really close to eleven pounds now! He still seems very tiny and fragile to me though. I don't know if that is because of that extra week in the hospital or if it is because of his size in comparison to his siblings, or if it is just because he is a baby. But here are a couple of recent pictures.

This last picture is an example of what happens almost any time I set him down anywhere. That is Benson kissing his face and Sammy's behind almost sitting right on him. They love him so much they practically maul him to death! He is not safe anywhere except in my arms! This is actually how he got pink eye from his brother. Benson had it, and a cold. I put Brigham in his swing to sleep one morning so I could clean up around the house and when I came back he was coated with snot. Benson had kissed him all over his face. Well after that Brigham got pink eye and a cold. I just love how well my boys all share. It has been really fun having a little baby around the house. Everyone loves little Duke a whole lot!

Duke passed some more tests. What a smart baby.

I took Brigham Duke in for some testing at the children's hospital on Friday. The doctors had ordered an ultrasound on his bladder and kidneys and a VCUG (voiding cystourethrogram) test. For the VCUG test they put some dye in his urinary tract through a catheter and then watched to see if he had urinary tract reflux (see if the urine went back up into the urinary tract after it had already gone down it which is what they thought caused his infection the day after he was born). When I took him into the pediatrician's office the day after he was released from the hospital one of the really great pediatricians ordered the tests and tried to explain everything to me. They were concerned that there might be something wrong with his kidneys or bladder, but really thought it was more likely to be the urinary tract reflux. Treatment for the reflux would be putting him on antibiotics until he out grew the reflux (usually within 1-5 years). We started Duke on amoxicillan that day and were told in about 6 months they would put him on something a lot stronger. I was so not looking forward to my son taking antibiotics every day for years. The yeast infections and thrush that come with antibiotics give me nightmares and I could just see him screaming every time his diaper was changed (actually he pretty much does that anyway...). But David and my Dad gave Duke a priesthood blessing in the hospital and I trusted that everything would be fine. I just didn't know what "fine" was going to be. I wasn't sure if fine would mean he would have problems, but that we would be able to handle whatever those problems were, or if fine meant everything would be perfect. I think maybe I was keeping myself prepared for the worst because even when David and my mom and others would say they thought nothing would be wrong I wouldn't let myself think it... I didn't want to be disappointed or to have my son think that I loved him any less if he was anything less than perfect. I don't know if that really makes any sense, but it is the best way I can explain it. They did Brigham's ultrasound first and only told me, "Your pediatricial will give you the results in a few days." That actually made me worry, like they didn't want to give me the bad news... even though I know that is what they tell everyone. Then they did the VCUG. He REALLY didn't like that test. They layed him on a big table, stuck a catheter in him, put a big machine over him and just waited for him to urinate. He screamed! I kind of hoped he would piddle on the techs and doctor for making him cry so much. But at the end of the test at least the doctor told me he didn't have any reflux!!!! Yes! That much I knew was fine. I called David to let him know and he contacted the pediatrician to find out the results of the ultrasound. It is really nice being the wife of a doctor when you want to find out the results of tests. :D They just make a call, or when we were in the hospital he would go look up the results himself. I could get kind of spoiled this way. The doctor said that Brigham's kidneys and bladder looked great and we were able to take him off of the antibiotics that day! Hooray! The infection he had in the hospital was, as the pediatrician called it, a "fluke." We will probably never know what caused it. Brigham is happy and healthy and amazing and wonderful and perfect. He doesn't like to sleep in his own bed, and he is wide awake at odd hours of the night, but other than that, he is perfect. I am so thankful for the priesthood!

Open House

Gracie's school had an open house last night. We were almost late. But there was no way in you no where I was dragging all of my kids to her school and around to half a dozen different classrooms (see previous post if you wonder why). So we waited for David to get home, had a quick family dinner and then Gracie and I went on our own. We started out in her home room class. She LOVES her teacher. Her teacher told me that Gracie loves to draw, dance, sing and hum, and that she makes sure that her teacher is following the school rules too. Gracie once shushed her teacher because she was humming in the hall (humming in the hall is NOT allowed... it is something that will get your car moved to the yellow or red light). Her teacher also said Gracie is doing great in math (100% on both of the tests they have taken). Then we went to see Gracie's reading teacher. But on the way Gracie had to take me to the classes of her friends. All of the teachers know Gracie by name and all tell me what a delightful happy girl she is. She has hugs for all of the teachers as she passes them. It makes me laugh to see how social she is, probably because I am the complete opposite (completely shy). Gracie is in the highest reading class and is doing marvelously! Her teacher told me she wishes she could have a whole class room of Gracie's. I could see that she had a sweet relationship with her reading teacher (rather than the fake one I could see that she had with the gym teacher who gave me the fake smile and same line she was giving all of the parents... "She is doing just great, and call me if you need anything." but of course she sees her reading teacher a lot more, every day instead of once every 6 days). Her reading teacher also said that she can see that Gracie is going to be able to be what ever she wants to be someday because she is so determined and happy. Gracie took me to see her music teacher and sang us both the song they had been learning. We met her computer teacher. Gracie showed me the lunchroom and the library. We missed the art teacher because we were so late. I have never seen an elementary school where the kindergarten kids go from room to room for different blocks of time like they do in middle and high school. That must be why walking quietly in the hall is such a big deal. I am so happy that she is thriving in the structured environment so well!!! Not that she has never had a mishap or had her car land on the dreaded yellow or red light, but for the most part she is doing AMAZING!!! Because she is amazing. We stopped at Krispy Kreme on the way home and got Halloween donuts to celebrate. I sure love that little girl. I feel like one lucky lady because I get to be her mom.

Murphy's Law Strikes Again

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Isn't that Murphy's Law? Well, we were victim's to it today. I woke up with a plan this morning. Maybe that was my first problem. But I did have a plan. I was going to get up, get all 4 kids ready in time to drop Gracie off at school and then get some groceries and get home in time to clean the house before play group at noon. It was a good plan. And everything was sort of going according to plan. We got out the door about 8:45. Gracie's school starts at 9:00. We had perfect timing. Normally Gracie rides the bus, but the bus stop has become a problem. Getting 3 little boys dressed and ready to walk to the bus stop is hard. Brigham is kind of small to ride in the double stroller. Benson is too little to walk because he doesn't really understand about not running in the road. It takes two hands to push the double stroller. We live too close to drive, but the bus stop is out of sight of the house and across a semi busy road so I don't dare to let Gracie go alone. So far the best option is to put Brigham in the baby carrier and the older boys in the double stroller. It isn't ideal and I don't know what I am going to do when it starts to snow. Anyway, that is why I was taking Gracie to school today was part of my "plan." Well, about 3 minutes from the school I heard a loud clunk, clunk, clunk as I was driving. It was a sound that was vaguely familiar to me. A flat tire. I pulled over at the first business I came to because in my hurry to get out the door this morning I forgot my cell phone. I remembered it about 2 minutes after I left my house. I thought to myself when I remembered, "What is going to go wrong? We will be fine." Little did I know huh? Well the business that we had pulled into was a self service laundromat. I got out of my van and walked around it trying to figure out which tire was flat. None of them was. But then I saw it. The hugest screw with a gigantic bolt sticking out of my right front tire. This thing was enormous! At least the diameter of a nickle and who knows how long. I looked around for some help. There was not a human being in sight. And no pay phone either. So what could I do. I got back into the van and drove across the street to a convenience store... clunk, clunk, clunk. But they had a pay phone! I locked my van doors with all of my children inside (not the best looking place) and ran inside to find out what the address was of where I was at. Then I went out to the pay phone to call David for help. I kind of know how to change a tire, but it was cold and my baby was crying because the van wasn't moving and I knew in order to prevent a total melt down (my own) I was going to need help! Did I mention that this was the very first time I had gone out alone with all four kids since Brigham was born. Maybe all of this wouldn't have been so traumatic if it hadn't been my first time. So, yeah, I went to the payphone to call David for help. The payphone didn't work. So I went back inside and the lady who worked there was kind enough to let me use the store phone. I called David, and despite trying to be strong I could hear the tears in my voice. I don't think I have ever been more grateful to hear his voice on the other end of the phone! I was so thankful that he was at a point in his schedule that he could come and help me too. Had he been in his office seeing patients they would not have let him come and save me! After I got off the phone with him a kind man at the convenience store actually offered to help me as well. Isn't it wonderful to know that there are kind strangers out there willing to help other people! I told him my husband was on his way, but it warmed my heart to even have him offer! When David got there he sent me to take Gracie to school in his car while he got out the jack and donut tire. He jacked up the car and the jack broke. Didn't I tell you anything that could go wrong did. So we called road side assistance (thank goodness for car insurance!). They came in just a couple of minutes. Wow, the guy was fast! He got there and had the donut on the van in less time than it took me to go into the convenience store to get some cash out of the ATM to pay him! Then we took the tire to the tire store. Two tires and a car inspection later (the one with the gigantic bolt in it wasn't reparable and the other one didn't pass inspection which we were way over due for) and the van is ready to go again. I don't know if I can say the same for myself. The grocery store wasn't fun, Sammy has been talking back a LOT lately, and he fought with the other kids at the play group as well. Gracie just got home and she had a bad day at school. Can we just have a do over? Or can it be bed time and have this day just end? I think it will be a while before I venture out on my own with all 4 kids again. I guess the silver lining to this day is that they finally have canned pumpkin at the grocery store. I think I am going to go do some therapeutic baking... if only my kitchen was clean...

Brigham Duke's Story

It seems like a long long time ago... that night that Brigham was born, instead of... well I guess it has been over two weeks! He is so amazing. My water broke on the evening of the 15th around 7:00. I started having some really tiny contractions after that. I could barely feel them. We decided around 10:00 after we had put the kids to bed and packed a bag and I showered, to walk over to the hospital (it turned out to be a huge blessing to be so close to it when Brigham had to stay for so long!). I was hooked up to pitocin shortly after that. David and my mom sat and played Phase 10 with me for several hours. David was pretty much forced into it. My mom won. Can you believe they didn't even let the woman who was in labor win? After that the contractions started to get a lot harder. They had been turning up the pit pretty regularly! The next few hours are kind of a blur to me. I know I slept for a few seconds here and there between some of the contractions. I hadn't slept more than a few hours each night for several days. I have a really hard time sleeping the last month of pregnancy. I know we were all exhausted! But my mom rubbed my legs all night anyway, and David was ever the watchful doctor. But even with all of the painful contractions, for some reason the baby wasn't really descending. My mom said she had a feeling that the chord was wrapped around the baby's neck. That can keep a baby from descending. David was pretty sure that wasn't possible because everything looked fine on the monitors and having the chord wrapped around a baby's neck would cause signs of distress during contractions. But still little "punkin" did not descend. I was pretty much all the way dilated and I remember the nurse reaching inside me (TMI?) to try and get the baby's head to go through the top of the cervix. Ouch! It seems like they did this several times but still no baby came down. So they decided I should do some practice pushing while her hand tried to help the baby get through the top of the cervix. That worked and hurt a lot. It was time to call in the doctor. Oh wait... he was already there. :) David was gloved, gowned, and ready for action. But the OB was there to help out just in case. It was now probably 3:30-ish in the morning on the 16th. I don't really know how long I pushed. I know it wasn't very long, but I still thought I would die (well maybe not literally die, but you know what I mean) because it hurt so bad. As soon as baby's head was out they did find that the chord was in fact wrapped around his neck, but were quickly able to fix that. Then the OB had me change positions a little because Brigham's shoulder was stuck.

Very soon after that they placed this warm beautiful baby on my abdomen and I found tears running down my face.

Tears of relief at having the pain finally stop,

tears of exhaustion,

but most of all tears of joy and love because I had a new son, a new precious baby sent from heaven to be my own.

The explosion of love in my heart was immediate and constant.

Each time I have a child I am awed by the ability of the heart's capacity for love to increase! You think your life is so good and you couldn't possibly love more or be happier, and then Heavenly Father shows you how wrong you were by sending you an amazing child to love and immediately you love increases a hundred times!!! Baby Brigham Duke is amazing and perfect and I couldn't ask for anything more!!!

He weighed 8 lbs. 7 oz. and was 21 inches long. My smallest boy yet. I tried to nurse him, but he wouldn't nurse. He cried a little, but I could tell something was wrong. He was grunting and "singing" as the nurse put it with every breath that he took. David and my mom had seen him take in a mouthful of gunk as he was being born. I was scared. The nurse acted like everything was fine though and David and I both sat and cuddled him for a while before they whisked him away to the nursery. It was then that they decided he had TTN Transient Tachypnea of the Newborn (a lung condition where breathing during the first hours of life is more rapid and labored than normal). I was moved from the delivery room to the "suite" (the fancy recovery room reserved for important people and hospital staff and their families). I don't know how long it was before they let me walk to the nursery to see Brigham... times and days in the hospital have completely blurred together, but it seemed like forever... it was probably only a few hours. They had him hooked up to machines monitoring his respirations, heart rate, and blood oxygen levels.

The nurses told me through out his time there in the nursery that every time I held him the numbers were better. Sure did make me feel good to be a mom and to know that I make a difference!

I love being a mom!

Brigham Duke wasn't allowed to nurse after the first day because his sats dropped after his first successful attempts, but I pumped my milk for him and had so much that the hospital was getting tired of storing all my milk. Leaving the hospital without my baby coming home with me was heart wrenching, but the hospital gave me a room close to the nursery so that I could be there with Brigham as often as I could. I walked back and forth between the hospital and home several times a day. I was totally surprised by just how well I felt physically. I took motrin for my pain until I left the hospital, but after that I was able to forget myself and all the normal aches and pains that usually come and linger after having a baby. I was also surprised at how well I felt emotionally. After all, my baby was in the hospital! Each time something new was wrong with him I would break down for a few minutes, but I knew in my heart that he would be okay. I know this strength came from all of the prayers of family and friends. I felt carried through everything! My body was strong. Stronger than I have ever felt after having a baby. Since Brigham has come home it is almost like my healing has gone backwards. Like it was suspended for a while during all of the stress and now has gone back to normal healing. I felt all of the prayers for Brigham keeping me strong enough to take care of him. It was truly amazing.

Brigham finished his IV antibiotics during the middle of the night one week and one day after he was born. He could finally come home!!! I guess we caused quite a stir in the hospital by bringing him home the very second that he was done... during the middle of the night. But honestly if you had the option of sleeping alone in terribly uncomfortable hospital bed or sleeping at home with your spouse with your baby in the cradle next to you wouldn't you choose home? We did!

Having four kids is a new challenge, but it is so sweet and wonderful. Gracie is my big helper! She can always be counted on to fetch a diaper or binkie or help her other brothers while I am nursing. She loves to hold Brigham while I do other things.

Sammy cannot stop touching his baby brother's head. He wakes up in the morning and the very first thing he says every day is, "Is that the baby." He is the first one to come running when Brigham starts to cry. He is also turning into a big helper. When Gracie came back with the wrong thing yesterday he went up and got what I needed himself.

Benson is very sweet with Brigham. He will come up to him and kiss him anywhere there is enough skin to kiss... his head, face, hands, arms, legs, feet... and then he will come up to me and kiss me. Then he repeats it all over again. Kiss the baby. Kiss mom. It makes me really happy.

We have had a few ups and downs along the way, but I would truly say that life is beautiful!!!