I am at a complete loss. I dropped my daughter off at her dance class today. I stayed with her until her teacher came and got the class and then ran a couple of errands and got back in time to wait in the waiting room for about 10 minutes before her class ended. As Sammy and I were sitting there waiting for Gracie to come out I noticed a pile of clothes on the floor that looked a lot like Gracie's leotard and skirt. But I figured all the girls in her class have almost exactly the same outfit, it couldn't be Gracie's. I was wrong. When Gracie came out she was wearing this outfit. I looked at her confused and said, "What happened?" She said she liked this leotard better. "It is pink. It is sparkly." I asked her teacher what had happened and she was just as confused as I was. She said she thought I had changed her into it. She said Gracie had to go to the bathroom and when she came back this is what she was wearing. So now I have a problem. My daughter stole this dress. I of course paid for it (can I just say I am so glad it was one of their old costumes and on the $5 rack instead of something new that probably would have cost $50). But still she stole it. What do I do now? This isn't actually the first thing she has "stolen." She took some candy from Target and opened it in the store while I was buckling Sammy into a shopping cart. We paid for it and threw it away and had a big long talk about taking things that didn't belong to us. I really don't think she realized she was doing something wrong today, but what do I do to teach her? I desperately need some advice.
I am also really annoyed at the dance school. Who lets a three year old go out to the bathroom by themselves? I asked one of the teachers about this and he said that they don't let the preschool students go out by themselves. Um, someone messed up today then. This really kind of freaks me out. Number 1) someone could have just taken my daughter, 2) she could have wandered out onto the street by herself, 3) she wouldn't have been able to steal this costume if she had been with an adult. I am going to have to stay at the school through out the hour of her class now I can see. This is going to be a lot harder in just a couple of weeks with Sammy and a new baby tagging along too. I don't know. I am just really frustrated about the whole stupid mess right now. Anyone know what I should do?
11 comments:
Oh sister! I am so sorry you are having struggles! I wish I could come and sit with Gracie in her dance classes. I obviously don't have any kids so I don't know what to tell you except that I love you! I miss you so much! Good luck and keep smiling! Oh yeah! you should post a picture of your belly or at least e-mail me a picture. I miss you and pretty soon you won't have a belly anymore so you better send me a picture.
-Mary
Ohh Miss Gracie! Thats a hard one Julie. Gracie isn't the easiest kid there ever was...but I do like how she thinks outside the box. Emma is like that. I guess just do the whole routine of...stealing..it didn't belong to you...its immodest..what would Heavenly Father think...what can we do to fix what you have that you'll like it better...WHY did you take it...blah blah blah.
Would a repercussion work with her? I know they do with Hailey and Emma. Consequences are great, and they are old enough to have figured out WHY.
BTW, I can always watch your kids while you go sit if you'd like. We live right here. So, even though I'm sure you don't want to go and sit an hr in a waiting room...at least I can help by letting you go alone ;-)
Anyhow, hang in there...kids do strange things...look at mine...at least Gracie still has hair! ;-)
Dear Julie! You're such a good mom. I know I get the jitters right before a baby, too--feeling like everything's falling apart. But take heart and know that the Lord has special blessings in reserve for his mothers. He will help you know exactly how to help Gracie. Since she didn't actually leave with the dress, she may have thought more along the lines of borrowing it and then giving it back? Try not to be too hard on yourself or her. Kids make mistakes. It's part of learning. Let the spirit guide and support you as your prepare for greater blessings! Love you!
Oh Gracie, she would love that pretty sparkly dress. That is interesting, must be like the nursery kids escaping, maybe they need more teachers. As far as the "stealing" thing, we have a problem already with that too. K loves to put things in his pockets...that dont always belong to him. It is hard to know if they really understand when you talk to them about it.
Sis-
As I have thought more and more about this I think that most of the responsiblity lies with the dance teachers. They should not have let her go to the bathroom by herself. Maybe you will need talk to them about it again and work something out. She is still so little, even though she is getting so big. Of course she would want to trade for something that seems to her so much better. Take it with a grain of salt and remember that this will be funny when you look back in a few years. There will be many more trials and happy times, it comes with the territory of being a mother. You are doing an awesome job of raising that beautiful, strong willed little girl. Stay the course, your gonna make it! I love you :)
LeAnn
As much as it sucks, I probably wouldn't let her keep the dress. I think it may help the "no stealing" lession sink in if she didn't get to keep the pretty sparkly dress. However, like everybody else has said, it's hard to know if she thought she was just borrowing it. I would definately pray about what to do and follow the spirit becauase you are entitled to recieve revelation on how to raise YOUR kids, plus you know them better than anybody else.
I stole bubble gum once. My mother made me walk back to the store...4miles...and explain to the manager that I had taken the gum and pay for it.
She did not go with us of course, just yelled and pushed us out the door. The temp in Phx was 117 degrees and it was 2pm... in the afternoon...
I was hot, humilated and tired...
Well I was also 10 or so. I still go to the movies with my kids...and don't let them go anywhere...
Keep teaching her and keep following through on the consequences. Make her take the money to the cashier, make her apologize...but be right with her as you do it. She is really a strong spirit that will serve the Lord well in the future...just keep molding and curing her. She will get it. The dance school sounds incompetant to me. Can we pull her out for a while until she is older?
Or, maybe when your life is more calm...????
Oh Gracie Girl! I can defiantly see why that pretty pink sparkle dress looked way better than a leotard and tutu. If it was me I would take up your friends offer on watching your kids during dance. Then let Gracie know that because she did something she shouldn't have(stealing, going potty alone) that you have to come and watch her now until you think she can be a big girl and go to dance by her self. I am not sure if I would let her keep that pretty pink sparkle dress ether. I am sure that you will know what you need to do with your beautiful daughter because you are a wonderful mom! I am sure that having that baby coming soon is part of your panic. Everything will work out, you have a beautiful family!
I think it is nice that your dance class offers enough teachers to go to the bathroom with the kids (well, they messed up this time), but where Aspen goes, she just has her one teacher, and then there is a receptionist. So my neighbor and I have our daughters in dance together, and we take turns, one of us stays home with the babies, and the other one goes and sits at dance class in case something like this should happen. It is a pain, but at least we know that someone that CARES for them is watching them.
Good luck with your decision, and good luck these next few weeks!
Oh Julie, I'm sorry things are such a stress right now. I think I would do a playtime family home evening where you play "store". Let Gracie pick out things from magazines, or a toy catalog or something, that you can cut out. Give her monopoly money or something to "pay" for her purchases... maybe if she understands the concept of paying for things with her "own" money she might understand a little better. She probably won't understand the math involved, but maybe she'll get that if she wants something it has to be paid for first? I don't think she was trying to steal anything, I just don't think she understood the process of getting what she wants when mommy and daddy aren't around? What do you think?
Ahhh... kids. I'm not entirely sure about the not-at-the-age-of-accountability-thing-until-they're-eight stuff, sometimes I'm pretty sure they're evil... lol. Good luck. We have too much fun when Gracie and Sammy are over. You could always drop off Sammy (and even the baby) if you needed to go with Gracie.
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