I LOVE this picture. She will be five for a few more months when this little baby is born. I remember when my little sister Sarah was born when I was five. I felt like I was pretty special because I got to hold her while my mom canned peaches. Gracie is going to be a really great big sister. Her brothers will be great big brothers too. Sammy will be three, and Benson will be one for a few more weeks. Benson already loves babies. Any time he has the chance he will go up and hug them or kiss them. Thinking about it makes my heart swell... you know that feeling where your heart hurts a little bit in a good way and it beats a little harder and faster... like that. I am due on Sept. 30th. Okay, honestly, I am due on Oct. 1st, but I am determined that this baby will be born in September since there are already two people in the family with October birthdays (Benson and me). And besides, September feels so much closer than October. This is the only time I will ever admit that this baby is due on October 1st in real life. Hereafter I will always say he/she is due in September. A lot of people have asked me if we are going to find out what this baby is going to be since we didn't with Benson. Yes, we are going to find out. I feel unprepared enough that I really need to know so that I can feel more secure about this. We can find out in about a month (I am 15 weeks right now), but we are moving right around that time and don't know for sure when the ultrasound will be ordered since I don't even know what doctor I am going to be seeing at that time. As soon as I stop looking fat and start looking pregnant, I will post pictures. It will probably be soon since I am already so big, I guess that happens with the fourth one (or maybe it is the cookies and treats I have been craving). Anyway, thanks for all the support from all my friends and family about our new little baby.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
A new baby...
Thanks for all of the well wishes and congratulations on our pregnancy. Even the "HOLY SMOKES" and "HOLY CRAP" feel just about right most days! ha ha ha! We are indeed having another baby. I have been feeling 100% totally overwhelmed, and really down right terrified if I am going to be honest here, about having another one. And I have been feeling really guilty about feeling overwhelmed and terrified. Aren't moms only supposed to be excited and happy and yes glowing over the fact that they are inviting a new little bundle of joy to join their family? I didn't tell anyone for a long time. Or at least what felt like a long time... when you are pregnant doesn't each day feel like an eternity? I was afraid of what other people's reactions would be. Would they be totally excited for me, smiling and happy, in which case I would have to pretend to be just as excited as they were even though I was feeling so scared? Would they think I was crazy or insane or stupid? Would they feel sorry for me? My doctor did? She asked me if this pregnancy was planned and when I told her it wasn't she said, "Oh, I am so sorry." I am glad that we are moving and she won't be the one to deliver our baby that she is sorry is coming. (Grrr, grumble, grumble) Even though I am scared and overwhelmed doesn't mean I am sorry. Anyway, sorry to go off on that tangent... Where was I? Oh yeah, afraid of what other people's reactions would be. But somehow it seems Heavenly Father always knows just what we need to help us get through our trials. Even if it is just a glimpse of another person's life, another person's joys and trials, to give us the courage to get through our own and turn them into joys. My friend's sister-in-law just died from a brain tumor. But before she died I was able to see some pictures of her with her family (husband and five kids). Somehow that picture of her and her family smiling and happy in the midst of their trials was able to give me the boost of courage that I needed to turn having another baby from being a trial into being a joy. I never met this girl, but her life has become an inspiration to me! Now we are getting pretty excited to have another baby. Gracie is actually THRILLED. She was so sweet last night. She got out of her bed to come and kiss me and hug me goodnight...again (you know, anything to draw out the actual moment of having to go to sleep at night), and then she had to kiss and hug my tummy. Her parting phrase as she was leaving to go back to her own bed was, "Take care of the baby during the night okay mom." She really really wants a sister. At one time she told me if it was a boy she would ask Heavenly Father to take him back. She also told David the other day that it IS a boy, so hopefully whatever it is she will be happy. She didn't want Benson when he was born (she wanted a sister then too) until the moment that I set him in her lap, and then this was her reaction.
I LOVE this picture. She will be five for a few more months when this little baby is born. I remember when my little sister Sarah was born when I was five. I felt like I was pretty special because I got to hold her while my mom canned peaches. Gracie is going to be a really great big sister. Her brothers will be great big brothers too. Sammy will be three, and Benson will be one for a few more weeks. Benson already loves babies. Any time he has the chance he will go up and hug them or kiss them. Thinking about it makes my heart swell... you know that feeling where your heart hurts a little bit in a good way and it beats a little harder and faster... like that. I am due on Sept. 30th. Okay, honestly, I am due on Oct. 1st, but I am determined that this baby will be born in September since there are already two people in the family with October birthdays (Benson and me). And besides, September feels so much closer than October. This is the only time I will ever admit that this baby is due on October 1st in real life. Hereafter I will always say he/she is due in September. A lot of people have asked me if we are going to find out what this baby is going to be since we didn't with Benson. Yes, we are going to find out. I feel unprepared enough that I really need to know so that I can feel more secure about this. We can find out in about a month (I am 15 weeks right now), but we are moving right around that time and don't know for sure when the ultrasound will be ordered since I don't even know what doctor I am going to be seeing at that time. As soon as I stop looking fat and start looking pregnant, I will post pictures. It will probably be soon since I am already so big, I guess that happens with the fourth one (or maybe it is the cookies and treats I have been craving). Anyway, thanks for all the support from all my friends and family about our new little baby.
I LOVE this picture. She will be five for a few more months when this little baby is born. I remember when my little sister Sarah was born when I was five. I felt like I was pretty special because I got to hold her while my mom canned peaches. Gracie is going to be a really great big sister. Her brothers will be great big brothers too. Sammy will be three, and Benson will be one for a few more weeks. Benson already loves babies. Any time he has the chance he will go up and hug them or kiss them. Thinking about it makes my heart swell... you know that feeling where your heart hurts a little bit in a good way and it beats a little harder and faster... like that. I am due on Sept. 30th. Okay, honestly, I am due on Oct. 1st, but I am determined that this baby will be born in September since there are already two people in the family with October birthdays (Benson and me). And besides, September feels so much closer than October. This is the only time I will ever admit that this baby is due on October 1st in real life. Hereafter I will always say he/she is due in September. A lot of people have asked me if we are going to find out what this baby is going to be since we didn't with Benson. Yes, we are going to find out. I feel unprepared enough that I really need to know so that I can feel more secure about this. We can find out in about a month (I am 15 weeks right now), but we are moving right around that time and don't know for sure when the ultrasound will be ordered since I don't even know what doctor I am going to be seeing at that time. As soon as I stop looking fat and start looking pregnant, I will post pictures. It will probably be soon since I am already so big, I guess that happens with the fourth one (or maybe it is the cookies and treats I have been craving). Anyway, thanks for all the support from all my friends and family about our new little baby.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
I love your journaling! I am so excited for you! Julie, you are SUCH a good mom, of course you are having 4th! Those babies in heaven need to come to such a loving, wonderful mommy like you! Love you lots!
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time sister! I am way happy for you and your little soon to be big family! That same death that you talked about hit me too. What a tragic thing to happen. Makes you want to grab your babies and hold on to them really tight! Thanks goodness for our knowledge that families are forever!
Julie, I know just how you feel. I was freaked out when I found out I was pregnant with Carson. I was absolutely terrified. I was excited, but terrified. It lasted the whole pregnancy, wondering how I was going to do it. But despite the fear, I knew that I would survive. That I had Heavenly Father's love and strength to help me though, and that made all the difference. We love you, no matter what.
This post kind of yanked on my heart strings, and it really made me feel...a lot of things, but I loved reading your thoughts and feelings. I can't stop thinking about the Bakers either, and it's affected everyone in my family. She was my third cousin, although I didn't know her like I know Mike and Chrissy. Anyway, I am really happy for you, and I love that picture of Grace.
Oh Julio! I just love you so much! I am so so so excited for you to have another baby! You are just such a good mom, one more kid probably won't even phase you! I have missed talking to you this week! I love you lots! I'll talk to you later!
Congratulations Julie! I somehow missed your last post. I can imagine that would be a little overwhelming. Even though I think we'll end up with four, just the thought is overwelming and I'm not pregnant. I know you will do amazing and that all will go well. Things will work out. Good luck!
Just wanted to say that you're brave for talking about this. I felt the same exact way while pregnant with Will and he was even planned. I wasn't sure what it was or why I was feeling that way, but it made me so sad and feel like a horrible mother. As time passed so did the feeling. And now I can't think of life without him. But it for sure was a hard thing to work through.
Hang in there! If anyone can do it, you can!! Take care!
Laura
EXACTLY! I get so worried about what other people will think too. I'm so glad you aren't gone quite yet--it was nice to chat with you today.
I am excited for you! I have always heard...after your third child what is one more. Congrats! My oldest was 5 when I had my third and he is such a big help. He holds her for me plays with her, gets me things for her. It is really wonderful. This baby will be loved!
Oh you are too cute~ I wasn't thinking you were crazy just amazing. I feel like you kids are all close and you always seem to be having a great time and loving life. I have 2 3 years apart and I think its hard...haha I cant wait to see what "it" is!
Very happy to hear about your new one to come becaus you have been taught the right things and you know what is the plan is it doesn't matter what other people thinks yes I amm a grandmoher and great grandmother now but at the time I was accused of trying to multiply and replenish the earth all by myself and we had 8 and I was a stay at home mom I am sure that LeAnn feels overwhelmed at times too but years from now you will look back and think that wasn't so bad So I say have fun and have a good healthy pregnancy
Yah!! Congrats! That is exciting! I felt the same way when I was preggo with Lucas.
I don't think you are crazy! (Congrats by the way - I just saw your last post today) If Brad had a new job, I think that I would be pregnant with #4 by now too. I love having my babies close. It is crazy, and I go insane durring the days, but I think about how good of friends they are going to be when they get older, and how much fun we can have as a family as the years go by. It will be so fun for your kids to have a new little one around the house. People think that my neighbor is crazy for having 5 kids (her oldest was 6 when the baby was born) but she said that her and her sibilings were far apart, and now when they get together, they have nothing in common. So she didn't want that to happen with her own children. So even though people are always looking at her funny...she just smiles because she loves her children and how well they all play together. I hope that Gracie gets a cute little sister to play with! :)
Congrats on a new bundle of joy! Babies are the most precious thing Heavenly Father can give us.
Post a Comment